I just finished reading a wonderful story. Maid. It was written by Stephanie Land about her life as a single mother living in poverty. Wow is how I can best describe it. In reading her story you get a glimpse into what it’s like to need the system, to rely on the system and to loathe the system. Often times she speaks of how she was made to feel that she was unworthy, a bad person, a bad mother because of the situation she was in, because she needed help.
As she described some of the moments that made her feel this way, I’ll admit I’ve been in that spot. Not hers, but those who were judging her, who were wondering why she couldn’t do more, be more; those who said “your welcome” as she purchased items with her food stamps. I’m ashamed to admit that but it’s true. I know a lot of us feel that way, like the system is flawed, like people are benefiting from it when they could do more in our opinions to take care of themselves. This book will enlighten you to the plight of someone is doing more, in fact doing everything she possibly can to work hard and take care of herself and her daughter, but she simply can’t do it alone.
The system is flawed. It is flawed because people like Stephanie need it to survive despite all they are doing for themselves. Working a job that is downright disgusting, cleaning up after other people, yet making very minimal wage. How can we expect anyone to pay for rent, utilities and food on such a small income? Much less anything extra that may come up, especially if it’s being done on a single income. While there are certainly those who abuse the system, there are just as many who need it, though they most likely don’t even want it. I’ve been in that spot too, never to the extreme in Stephanie’s story though.
Thankfully I’ve never had to live in a homeless shelter, or rely on public assistance for housing. I have however known the feeling of doing all I can to take care of my family. Both of my children had Medicaid when they were small and they both received WIC. Those are two benefit programs that I will be forever thankful for. We were a two income family, however we didn’t make a lot of money. While we lived on our own for the most part, we did get in situations sometimes where living with family was necessary.
Looking back on that, I don’t remember feeling ashamed at the time, and I’m not ashamed now. I’ve always worked, my husband has always worked. We took care of our family; however, there were times that we did need some help and I’m thankful we had it. Once our children were past the toddler stage, we never received any other assistance. That’s not to say we were all of a sudden rolling in the dough, we weren’t, we just had crossed that threshold where we made too much money for help, but still not enough to be comfortable. I was a pro as finagling the money we did have to make it work, especially when it came to buying groceries. One of my memories that stands out the most is a week where I had $34 left after bills to buy food for the week. You’d better believe I made it work. We didn’t go hungry nor did we have all the name brands and special things we may have liked. But we survived.
I just told my husband the other day that sometimes I look at where we are now financially and think “I wish I’d done this sooner” or “I wish I’d known that then”. The reality is that I think it’s normal for most people to spend some time struggling a little bit until they really find their way. Sure it would have been nice if we’d been more financially secure in our 20’s and 30’s, but if we had, what lessons would we have learned? What lessons would our children have learned about life, and working hard to get something? So while I feel that we are humble and understanding of poverty, this book has shown me so much more. If you have been there, read it for the comfort of knowing someone else went through the struggle. If you are there now, read it for the encouragement to know you are not alone. Even if you’ve never been there, especially if you’ve never been there, I’d encourage you to read it, you might be surprised at how it makes you feel.
~Carla~
Arise and Glow 