Hey y’all, sorry it’s been awhile again, I think probably my longest break so far. I would imagine most of you know why.
My last post was on March 20th and the first sentence read “It is amazing the roller coaster that one can go on from day to day in life.” Wow does that ever ring true. I wrote and published that post around 9am and at about 4pm got the life changing phone call that my father-in-law had passed away unexpectedly. I’ve lost a parent, so I know that pain. I now also know the pain of holding my husband in my arms after telling him that his parent, and best friend, was gone.
Forgive me as I go through this post, I’m hoping it won’t be too scattered, but I feel the need to reflect back to my last post as it seems so intertwined with how the rest of that day and the days after played out.
First I talked about how I’d been so sad on the prior Sunday. One of the reasons I was sad was that it was a beautiful day that my husband, son and father-in-law were getting to enjoy outside by the fire pit while I had to get ready and go to work. How selfish. How I thank God now for that day.
Second I talked about how Monday and Tuesday had been so much better, how I had utilized some self-care that I was learning about to get myself in better spirits. I thought I was really teaching myself something, I thought I was preparing to go back to work for the next two nights. In reality I think God was preparing me for what was to come. Had I not been so well rested, had my spirit and my body not felt so good, there is no way I’d have been able to deal with all that came next.
I don’t know that you can ever be prepared for such a time, in our case we certainly weren’t. While my father-in-law had some minor health issues, there was no reason to think that his death was coming anytime soon. My husband certainly wasn’t prepared to lose him, or to make service arrangements, or clean out his home. I wasn’t prepared to be his backbone, or to help guide him on those decisions, or to step in when he’d gone so far under his grief and worry that he was literally sick and needed to be brought back to the surface by some tough love. My son wasn’t prepared to walk that journey with us either at just 22 years of age;nor were either of our girls. But we did. We stood together as a family to take care of what we needed to, to support each other, to learn to face the next day.
What all this has reinforced to me is that my post from that day was also spot on. It is so easy to get lost in our own emotions and just keep swimming along, but we can change our behaviors and change our lives.
As a side note I want to ask that you take some time to think about death. I know that sounds morbid, but the reality is, it’s going to happen to all of us. Even if you think you are very prepared, take a minute to look over things to be sure you really are. If you don’t already have it, get life insurance, it’s so very important. And once you have it, be sure you keep your beneficiaries up to date and be sure they know who they are and who to contact when you pass. Think about all the little things that you have, bank accounts, utility accounts, your pets, your belongings, etc. Make sure that your loved ones know your wishes and know how to access all of the information they will need to settle your affairs.
Though the last ten days have been very difficult and we know that there will still be hard days yet to come; my father in law did make things easy for us because we knew exactly what he wanted us to do. Which looking back is kinda funny, because that man made me crazy sometimes, and Lord knows he didn’t always make things easy; but this time he did. So thanks Billy Joe, I hope you are proud of how we handled things, enjoy your rest, I will continue to take the best care of David that I can, he will be okay.
~Carla~
Arise and Glow 