I don’t know about you but I’m about over this. My husband, a new friendship and this blog are about the only way I’m surviving at this point. Those are the only places I feel I can honestly share my thoughts. Of course that’s dangerous when it comes to the blog because others actually read this and well I know most of my opinions are the #unpopularopinion but well it is what it is!
When all of this started in March I was like okay, so March and April are gonna suck but that’s okay. May will bring with it calm, warmer weather, vacations, fun and life will again feel normal. Then, the unbelievable news that our state would be pretty much shut down until June 10th. What in the actual hell is what I said numerous times the day that announcement was made. After a few days it sunk in and I thought I was okay then today came.
Nothing new has happened this morning but I woke up with such a heavy heart. Maybe it’s because the weather has again turned cold. Maybe it’s because I’ve been in this house for four weeks now. Maybe it’s just one of those days. But my heart and mind are sad today and I can’t do any of the things that normally cheer me up. I can’t sit porch sit with my friend and laugh the afternoon away because we’d freeze or blow away. I can’t plan a weekend trip or vacation because I have no idea when we might be able to travel again. So instead I turn to this, writing.
I don’t mean to sound like a complainer, I know I’m blessed. My family of 6 are all still working and for that we are eternally grateful. We are also all healthy despite all the sickness around our state. And again let me say I do understand that this is a serious situation and that staying home is important to stop the spread. My biggest thing though is when are things going to be okay again? So far all we’ve heard is this is temporary, this is what we need to do to get past this, but we’ve not heard anything about when we will be past it. And personally I have to wonder how some of ya’ll will get past it.
For me, because I’m not a worrier, this has really been no different. But I’ve witnessed some who are extremely worried and going way above and beyond to “be safe”. So I just can’t help but wondered how those people are going to ever feel safe again. Many of the things that we are so scared of, touching grocery carts, wearing our shoes into our homes just as two examples; can I just tell you that both of those things were incredibly disgusting before? So I’m not trying to belittle your fear I just wonder when or if you will ever get beyond being scared of these things. It really makes me sad to think of the amount of fear that this has instilled in people that I think will linger on for a long time after this virus is gone.
Something else I’ve been pondering is the idea of all of this being some sort of conspiracy or political thing. Now believe me I’ve never been one to get into either of those issues and I don’t plan to start now but I really am starting to wonder. I’ve never understood political talk or how people can spend so much time pointing fingers and blaming the president for things. I’m not just talking Trump, I’m talking any president, it just makes no sense to me. But after watching the news and seeing how quickly Americans have turned into frightened, timid people who are terrified of everything and so willing to be ordered to stay in their homes by the government. Well….it’s hard not to wonder if maybe, just maybe there was some evil scheme behind this “virus” taking over our country.
Perhaps I’ve just spent way too much time in this house and in my head. All I know is that I’m so ready to be told I can come and go as I please again. I for one will be full steam ahead as soon as we get the go ahead. I cannot wait to spend my weekends visiting breweries with my husband, planning trips to the beach and just being free to go wherever we want. I pray that others will feel that same joy and freedom.
In the meantime I will keep binge watching crazy tv, reading good books and listening to God’s word from some of my favorite preachers. Oh and I will keep working because Lord knows my work hasn’t slowed down at all! I pray that each of you are staying safe and staying happy through all of this. I pray you have someone like I do that you can reach out to in order to just vent or talk things through. If you don’t please reach out to me! This is definitely NOT the best of circumstances at all for those who are alone. And things like worry me way more than actually getting the virus.
Things are definitely not normal right now so modify and do what you have to do to LIVE LIFE!
~Carla
Arise and Glow 