Too Much

I have so many thoughts yet also no words it seems. I’ve had them tossing around like waves in my head since yesterday. I probably won’t get them out right but it is what it is.

This post (see post script below) summed it up as best as my brain could wrap around it. So many I’ve seen made sense, so many didn’t, and it’s been hard to even read them all.  But this right here…we were not built for this. 

Often I feel like I live in a little bubble, living out in the country, in the mountains, working from home, not venturing out very often. But the truth is this little box in my hand has me more connected not only to my town, my state, my country and the world than ever before. As someone who can remember life before social media, before the internet and before cell phones well it’s hard not to sit back sometimes and think is this really worth it? Do the benefits outweigh the negatives?

I saw things yesterday I wish I’d never seen, things I cannot unsee now. As I laid in bed last night trying to fall asleep the images of murder played in my head. When my cat woke me up at 4am and I couldn’t fall back asleep those images were on replay. Finally at 5am I just got up knowing laying there any longer was pointless.

I’ve paid a lot of attention to the posts I’ve seen in the aftermath of yesterday’s tragedy. I’m made mental notes of what I’ve seen as well as not seen. People who usually have something to say about everything but are silent on this. People who post their sympathies but with a note that they didn’t like or agree with the guy; almost like a disclaimer that really isn’t necessary. People who are devastated with grief. People who want to declare war. People who want to emphasize peace. 

I’ve found that I disagree with almost every post in some form or fashion. But that is the whole point! We were each designed differently, we are going to have different thoughts, feelings, emotions even in cases where we share the same morals, values and even religion.

I think the hardest part for me is just the fact that there is so much, everywhere, and it’s overwhelming. All of it. I have many thoughts on what the problems are as well as the solutions. Some might agree some might not. Again it doesn’t matter. God is the only answer, some won’t like that either, but it’s my stance.

My other is again that this is all too much, too overwhelming, too in our face…and we weren’t built for this. Small things build big things, both good and evil. And if we truly want a different world, we have to start with a different us. Instead of being out here in the “world” scrolling and searching for the answers we have got to step back, step out of the world, and step back into our homes, our families, our communities.

~ Carla

PS-The post I reference was made by Dr Raymond Nichols and can be found on his Instagram and Facebook accounts, posted last night, September 10, 2025.