Typically you’d expect this post on January 1st, after all that is the day we are supposed to start all things new, make resolutions and all that stuff. So it seems only fitting then that I am writing this on February 1st. Keeping in line with doing all things different is clearly my way. Instead of being prepared ahead of time, I didn’t really start doing much thinking about 2019 until it was really here. Now that I’ve settled back in at home and gotten myself back into a routine, well now I realize that 2019 is bound to bring a lot of new experiences. It took me most of January to realize that, to come to terms with it, to start to embrace these things and my way of thinking about them. Now that I have I feel like I’m looking out of the windshield of my car at a wide open road with no signs, buildings or destinations in sight. That is both a scary and exciting feeling.
First things first, I got moved to night shift at work, that in and of itself is enough to make me want to slam on my brakes….oh if only that were an option! Instead I sit here about 5 hours into my 12 hour shift, feeling okay, and praying this feeling lasts for the other 7. Night shift isn’t completely new to me, I’ve had a few rounds with it, but I am definitely a day light girl. Now don’t let that fool you into thinking I’m one who jumps out of the bed in the mornings wearing a smile and ready to take on the world because that couldn’t be further from the truth. This girl needs her kick of caffeine, a shower and preferably a little of time to get her s**t together before her day starts! However, a night person I am not. So if you are awake and reading this overnight then say a prayer for your girl, she could use it.
So while we’re discussing work I guess this is a good time to tell you what I do if you don’t already know. I’m a 911 dispatcher. That’s the title I choose to still call it, though now I may also be known as a telecommunicator or a public safety communications officer, I’m still good with dispatcher. The first thing people say when they find this out is “wow that has to be a stressful job”; well you have no idea. Between the calls, the schedule, the hours and the lack of appreciation from both those we work with and the public….stressful doesn’t even begin to describe it. That being said though, it can be the most rewarding job in the world. It is truly something that fits well with that love/hate relationship status. It’s a job that I love to do on most days, however it’s also a job that I know I won’t retire from. Kudos to those who do but I don’t believe my body or my mind can do this job for that many years.
As I adjust to my new work hours it means everyone around me has to adjust as well. There will be times I won’t see my husband for several days, most nights we won’t eat dinner together or get to sleep in the same bed. For some that may not be a big deal, for me it’s huge. When you’ve been with someone for 24 of your 41 years, well you kinda get used to being with them most of the time. Also it’s just the little things, like cooking dinner for my husband, that I will miss the most. Now mind you my husband is a great cook, and in the years that I’ve been in this line of work, he’s taken on the role of making dinner a lot more often than I. But we are a traditional and often old fashioned couple, and I love to cook, so for me that is something I truly enjoy investing my time in and doing for him.
I almost feel like today is the starting point of the year not January 1st. I mean think about it, we spend so much time preparing that it’s going to be a new year and then before you know it that first month of the year is over already. It really takes the month of January to evaluate where you are and where you want to go after yet another year of your life is gone with the wind. Or maybe that’s just me, and all the rest of you really do have it all thought out for January 1 and you start the year off ready to go. That’s just not me. In fact, this is probably the first year in, well forever, that I’ve ever really put much thought into it being a new year. Maybe that’s because we moved, and moved again. Maybe it’s because I crossed into a new decade of my existence (again yes I’m different so for me turning 41 means more than turning 40 did). Maybe it’s because my baby girl is out of school and living in the adult world now. I don’t really know the reason but I do know that 2018-2019 is going down differently for me. And the one thing I am sure of is that the rest of 2019 is truly a blank canvas just waiting to be written on.
We should look at life this way always but often we don’t. It’s so easy to get caught up in all that is happening in our lives, not only daily but even each month and year. I’m just as guilty as anyone else of this. No matter what has happened though, good or bad, there is always so much more opportunity for us. We must remember that we can always get back up, we can always push forward, we can always be and do more….no matter what bad experience has happened to you don’t ever feel like you can’t get back up; no matter what good experience has happened to you don’t ever feel like that’s the best it can be. Look out of that windshield, you are driving this car, you’ve got a wide open road out in front of you. As you travel though this year always look for the good, pay attention when the signs come, make your own turns, create your own path, and enjoy all that 2019 has to offer you because I promise you before you know it, you’ll be looking in that rear view again.
Arise and Glow 