Sober Minded

I’m going to start with a disclaimer. I first had this post in mind several days ago, the words were flowing freely in my brain, the problem is I didn’t stop right then and put them down in text. For that I am sorry both for you and for me because I’m certain this post will not be nearly as good as it should have been. I’m really considered trading my iMac in for a MacBook; it’s a little thing but it sometimes could make a big difference. Anyway on to the post!

January also known as Dry January in recent years for many. If you’ve never heard of it, it’s one of these new trends, fads, things brought on by social media and celebrity influencers. Really I don’t know where it started and I always avoid the latest trend like the plague. Or so I think but then often I look back on a season and realize I fell right into one of them. This is one of them. Although this is now my third and what I’m learning is different than the first or the second.

To go along with going dry in January I am reading “Quit Like a Woman” by Holly Whitaker for the third time. If you are wondering it’s about a woman (Holly) who is an alcoholic and what her journey to getting sober is like in our society. It’s eye opening. There are parts I don’t enjoy primarily because we share some different political beliefs and that gets a bit touchy but overall I highly recommend this book. Even if you don’t think you have a problem with alcohol, even if you don’t drink alcohol, the lessons in this book abound.

Which leads to me next point, going dry, what exactly does that mean? Well for most it means spending the month of January not drinking any alcohol and for me that is accurate. This time I decided to add in something else though, staying off of social media. In order to stick to that I had to delete both Instagram and Facebook off of my phone. I don’t use Facebook as much (if you’ve been here awhile you know my issues with that) but Instagram well let’s just say I live there! As I was thinking of this plan and talking to a friend about it I realized I kept saying I need to go dry from alcohol and social media as though it meant the same thing. That’s when I realized it does!

Sober. A word with many meanings depending on who you are. I think it’s typical to think this means no longer drinking alcohol. But in my own journey and several conversations with family and friends I’ve come to appreciate it in a new way. Let’s look at the true definition. If you give it a google you’ll find that the word sober as an adjective primarily means “not affected by alcohol”; as a verb it means “becoming sober after drinking alcohol”. Other definitions though are “muted in color” and “becoming more serious”. So I think if you dig in you’ll see that while it primarily relates to alcohol it can also mean so much more. I choose to think of it as just simply “not affected” and then fill in the blank after that.

To be sober means to not be affected or directed by something. So in order to get sober we need to determine for ourselves what it is that is affecting or directing us. Is it alcohol, drugs, sex; you get the picture. But we tend to only think about negative “things” when we analyze this. What we are missing out on is that there are positive things that can also still affect us and direct our actions if we have allowed them to take on a large part of our life. This is where social media comes in for me. I don’t even want to disclose the amount of time I spent (waste) on Instagram; it’s a lot. And while I believe it is a great tool and I’ve not only learned a lot of some of the pages I follow I’ve also made some very good friends who I’d not have met otherwise. But spending multiple hours a day scrolling is just not acceptable.

These were my thoughts the last week of December as I pondered the new year, a new season, a fresh start. The word rest came to me consistently throughout the month of December so I thought okay that’s it this year I’m going to join that trend and have a “word of the year” and I choose rest. I went into 2023 with that word in mind and thought in order to do that I need to give my body a refresh so I’m going to do Dry January and not drink alcohol. It was on December 31st that I realized I probably should also take a social media break if I truly wanted to start out the year resting.

As this week has gone on I’ve thought more on the subject, I’ve started the above mentioned book and then a random podcast episode that I listened to was about another getting sober book. This episode went on to talk about not only alcohol but all of the other things one might need to get sober from. It was then when I just laughed and reminded myself who is really in control here and it’s not me.

I thought 2023 was for rest. God said 2023 is for becoming sober minded.

I’d love to know what sober means to you and I’d love to know what is guiding you into 2023. I’m off social media remember so we’ll do it the old fashioned way, drop me a comment or an email, I’d love to hear from you! Also if you feel led I’d love it if you shared this post since I cannot and I do not have it set to auto post to any platforms other than my website.

~Carla

PS – You might notice the website is changing a bit; that’s part of 2023 as well!